love your wife

So Valorie and I watched "Fireproof" the other night, and while some of the acting was weak, and it was definitely chick-flick-esque, I must say it was worth watching. I was really convicted.

I'm really good for grumbling whenever Valorie asks me to do something. I'm either too tired, or I did it last time, or I don't feel like it, or whatever.

It wasn't like this when we were dating, though. When we were dating, I would follow her a half hour home every night to make sure she got there ok. I would do anything for her, because she was special and mysterious.

So what's changed? Is she less special or less mysterious? I would say no.

When people get divorced, it seems like the stock reason is that they are different people than they were when they got married. I actually think this is true, but I think that this is precisely why you should want to stay married--there's always something new to find out and know. We don't get married because we find someone boring or because we think we know everything about them. We get married because we find someone fascinating, and a lot of the fascination lies in that we don't know everything about that person.

I think I grumble and whine because I'm selfish, and because I've fallen victim to dwelling on the things about being married that never change--the responsibilities.

Thankfully, God used this movie to give me a little bit of a smack in the side of the head. I'm making it a point to actively love my wife, to "lead my heart" instead of following it (paraphrasing the movie here). It's amazing--when you do that, it becomes natural to love fully in the heart again. For some reason I can't explain, flight-of-fancy emotions follow closely behind a measured, deliberate love of the will. Beyond all comprehension, serving my wife with discipline quickly morphs into serving my wife with joy. I see her in a different light, and I want to learn about her, and keep learning about her.

So next time you're about to grumble at some request your wife has made, take that complaint captive, regardless of how the request was made or which instance of the same request it is. Wipe the frown off of your face (or better yet, stop it before it gets there), soften your hardened heart, and do it. Real love comes at a cost to the lover. Real love is the only love worth having. Don't be lukewarm. Love your wife.